In order to save time on future blog entries, I'll just come out right now and say that the Wild are about to embark on a streak of games where they will win a couple (games against the likes of the Phoenix Coyotes, Columbus Blue Jackets and L.A. Kings leap to mind) mixed in with games where they'll be outclassed (as in upcoming tilts against the Stars and Canucks, to name a couple). After starting the season red hot, then going ice cold during the last several games, warped minds will be surprised to see a streak of more than two games in either direction for the next few weeks. But hey, enough jabbering from me; it's time to fire up the Warpy Quark psychlotron:
dangling sub-atomic participles:
Top Quark(s): Marc-Andre Bergeron gets the nod for Top Quark honors, narrowly beating out a sizeable list of kihntenders in last night's excellent performance. Bergeron's pass to Eric Belanger was a total thing of beauty. His passes to Marek Zidlicky weren't too shabby, either. Ironically, the brilliant performances of Bergeron and Zidlicky happened right on the heels of Warpy adding them as permanent members of the Bottom Quark list. Come to think of it, Skooly hasn't had a bad game since his banishment to the bottom of the Warpy continuum either, so I may end up taking the advice of one of my readers, and just put the whole Wild team down there in order to maximize our Stanley Cup chances.
Up Quark(s): In addition to the obvious choice of Zidlicky for an Up Quark, Nicklas Backstrom gets a call for yet another rock solid game between the pipes. It'd be nice to see Josh Harding get in some games here and there in order to avoid overtaxing Backstrom when the chips go down late in the season, but it's hard to justify messing with the success we're enjoying right now.
The Wild defense gets a collective Up Quark for making Backstrom's job an easy one last night; most of the shots Backs faced were of low enough quality that Eric Belanger could've had a decent run at a shutout. Brent Burns gets props for a fine game at forward, and a huge call has to go out to Cal Clutterbuck for his continued physical play. If Clutterbuck and Benoit Pouliot have any outstanding leases or rental agreements in Houston, they might as well cancel 'em and start shopping around for permanent homes here in Minnesota.
Down Quark(s): It's hard to find much in the way of downers after witnessing a dominating performance like the Wild delivered last night; the closest thing I can disCERN as a Down Quark would be the relatively invisible play of Mikko Koivu and Pierre-Marc Bouchard over the last couple of games. Getting a gauge on them bosons is like trying to wipe off Bose-Einstein condensation with a hawking stick.
Sorry; I couldn't pass up a straight line like that:) Stay tuned for more events on the horizon (not to be kihnfused with "horizontal events" when approaching the late-ex Schwanz-Shield Radius of a black hole, but we digress...)
Bottom Quark(s): In order to reduce the amount of typing I'll need to do on future blog entires, I'll just plug in Martin Skoula's name here on a permanent basis and insert the needed details later.
Skoula has yet to have a bad game since his entry into bottom quarkdom was made permanent a few of weeks ago. True, Skooly hasn't had any really good games in this stretch either, but a mediocre Skoula is not all that bad of a thing. It was especially refreshing last night to see Skooly (A) well positioned most of the time so as not to screen his own goalie, and (B) facing the correct direction most of the time so as not to look like he was taking a whiz by the goal post. It's amazing to see how much better #41 plays when he can see what he's been missing -- namely, all those guys who used to sneak into the slot right behind him for scoring plays.
Perhaps somebody pointed Bergeron to my previous blog entry, where I suggested that his increasingly infrequent slap shots were racking up serious frequent flier miles due to pucks bypassing the net in favor of nonstop trips to the boards. A guy who has trouble hitting the net is better off dishing the biscuit off to someone else until he gets his shooting mojo back -- and Bergie dished out some serious assists last night. Well done! Zidlicky emphatically demonstrated the good things that can happen when tattooed slap shots do get on net. Well done again!
Strange Quark(s): Nick Schultz gets a delayed Strange Quark (not to be kihnfused with the delay in locating the Higgs Particle) for also spending most of last night facing the correct direction and playing solid defense. The strange part is that when Skooly was doing his old "stand in front of the net facing the wrong way" routine, Schultzie was doing the same thing; now, #55 appears to be following #41's lead again, albeit in a good way this time. If Schultzie really is looking up to Skooly for veteran guidance, Wild fans could be in for many more years of warped entertainment.
Charmed Quark(s): Confucius says man who studies calculus find life full of limits, so today's infinitely stupid question is: why is there only one Chandrasekhar's Limit?
post-dramatic sin drones:
And in Kihnclusion: The Wild's schedule for the next few weeks favors a streak of games where the good guys have their ups and downs, with neither phase lasting for more than a couple of games apiece. Basically, you could call it a non-streak streak (which for some reason conjures up warped mental images of a naked Windex sales rep...) The local media pundits will no doubt start spewing forth rumblings about the Wild's inkihnsistency, but readers of this blog are now educated enough to know better. GO WILD!!!
and now... a word from our spawn's heirs:
If my wife to-be or not-to-be is reading this, that new graphite driver I just bought traps far more carbon than a diamond ring ever will, so what's with the attitude? Heck, a few million more guys like me could be the secret to saving the world, eh? To the rest of you, thanks for tuning in, keep your stick on the ice, and remember: I'm Warped Mind, and I approve the end of all those Norm Coleman and Al Franken messages. Heck, their massages probably aren't all that hot either, but that's a topic for another day.